I'll admit- you've been on my mind a lot the past few days. Talking to you again and seeing your happiness energized me so much. I felt things I haven't felt in a long time. It kind of motivated me to do something stupid, so here we have it- That Stupid Thing.
I wanted to write you a letter- like they did in the olden days when a young gentleman would attempt to court the favor of a young lass. But I'm more of an article writer so I guess this turned out to be more like an article. It might be the weirdest letter I've ever written to someone I was interested in. Hopefully you will still find it silly and endearing.
What are the Odds?
I liked this tweet of yours because I am the same way- ridiculously attracted to women who are probably around the top 1% of intelligence. I have had my IQ tested and I come out at 99.02% compared to the general population. Not MENSA material, but hey- I'm no slouch either.
This got me thinking- what are the odds of finding someone like this among the pool of women in the world? So I loosely crunched the numbers:
There are approximately 7,125,000,000 people on the planet. As I am not bisexual, that leaves me with around 3,500,000,000 potential love interests. Add to that the fraction of a percent who are transgender women- the number probably doesn't change that significantly.
Let's further subdivide it into the top 1% of intelligence and you get 35,000,000 women. So far so good. Thirty-five million women? No sweat! But how many of those are native English speakers? It's estimated that only 5% of the world's population speaks English natively- bringing the total pool down to 1,750,000. One million seven-hundred fifty thousand potential love interests.
What about age compatibility? In 2014, it was estimated that there were around 600 million women between the age of 20-30. This is 17.14% of the total number of women on earth- so we need to cut our number down further. Now we're down to 304,500 women of an age compatible to me. Whew.
So how many of these 304,500 women are married? I couldn't find worldwide numbers, but assuming that the US is a good measuring stick for the western world, in 2010, 80% of women age 20-24 have never been married and 50% of women 25-30 have never been married (source). So first we'll cut our 304,500 in half then apply our %'s of unmarried women. That leaves us with 121,800 women from 20-24 and 76,125 women from 25-30. A total of 197,925 eligible women.
I took those 197,925 women and checked to see what percentage they are of the world's population- and came up with 0.002%.
The story doesn't end there though. This isn't the classic story of, 'Boy meets girl, boy crunches numbers of how rare girl is, boy and girl end up happy together.'
I have a lot more to say about you than how much the odds are stacked up against us even meeting.
Five Things I Love About You
1. The Way You Smile At Me
I hope you don't mind, but I managed to catch a screenshot of your smile when we talked. It came out really shitty so I put a filter on it, but I wanted you to see what I see.
I can't even describe how I feel when you smile like this at me...I mean I can try. It's like getting a million hugs all at once. Or maybe like seeing a ray of light come down through the clouds on a rainy day. Or maybe like coming in from the cold snow, kicking off your shoes and socks, and rubbing your feet on the carpet. And your dimple is the cherry on top of the sundae. Your smile burns like white hot metal through my chest (in a really good way, trust me).
2. Dat Musical Passion
Talent turns me on almost as much as intelligence- and you've got both in spades. I've watched a number of your drumming videos and I am just very impressed by your ability. I think you're going to do awesome things throughout your life. There's probably nothing you could not achieve!
And by the way- I couldn't stop laughing at all the Djent jokes on your twitter. You're so passionate about your music- it's very inspiring. I love creating and listening to music too. I see the value of it- and I hope that maybe someday the universe will arrange things so that we can make music together.
3. Your Eyes Are Like Zircon
You have the kind of eyes I could see myself wanting to look into forever. They're kind of cat-like and exotic. Mischievous. Mysterious. Sly. And they are this beautiful steely blue. They're perfect- makeup or not.
Sure, it's all genetics- can't choose your eyes. But maybe it's not just what they look like but how you're using them that gets me. I think it's a bit more gestalt.
4. You're Thinking About the Future
This might seem like a strange one- but most of the girls I run into nowadays are focused on getting money and that's it. Sure, they're going to school, but there's no passion behind their eyes. And when I start talking to them about robotics, VR/AR, and futurology, I get cloudy stares.
But that's not you. You're thinking like I am. You're focused on the big picture stuff too. We have both gotten that feeling like, 'Where are all of the ambitious people?' There aren't many. And that's one of the reasons I'm sitting here writing out this letter to you- because you're like me.
5. You're a Reader Too
Why would something like this turn me on? It means you're pushing yourself further intellectually- you're growing. I don't fear many things- but stagnation is one of them.
When I'm out on dates, I ask, "What are you reading?" And 9 times out of 10, I've clearly caught my date somewhat off guard. I cannot understand why this is- and it leaves me feeling perpetually frustrated that I won't find another reader.
As you can tell- I'm a reader and a writer. I've been passionate about both since I was able to read and write- probably because I'm a talkative information sponge. This is my nature and I can't change it. Nor would I want to.
My deepest desire is to be in a relationship with another reader- and we could read to each other- or at least be reading the same thing and talking about it. I think the amount of growth would be exponential.
Ok so you know some of the reasons I like you, but why give me the time of day? After all- I'm 4,000 miles away from you. I have my life, you have yours. You're getting geared up for school and I'm focused on building a creative studio. Let me tell you 10 reasons why I want you to think about investing time into knowing me more deeply:
- I am absolutely happy about your gender. Some time ago, I saw a term that I really liked that I felt like fit me: heteroflexible. I'm attracted to women- but not at the exclusion of trans women. I know you know this about me- but I wanted to reiterate that you are not a fetish in my eyes. I could absolutely see myself dating you long term- maybe falling in love with you. I feel my heart open to it.
- I know who I am and what I'm doing. I think an important consideration when figuring out who to open your heart to is knowing whether they're on some kind of trajectory- or if they're just flying around on an erratic path. I've dated women before who were mentally unstable and all over the place- and it was very difficult for me. I've learned to watch for the warning signs in others, as well as work towards stability myself.
- I'm ambitious as hell. I figure you got that impression from me when we talked last week- but think about what that means. If you get involved with me, we will be on the move. We will be going places and building things together. And if you have plans and ambitions that you want to follow, I am the type of person to help you get there- because I want the people in my life to be successful and happy too. Ambition feeds ambition- and being around ambitious people makes me feel even more ambitious. When you surround yourself with people who aren't afraid to fail, you will be more likely to succeed.
- I'm easy going and open minded. It's true that I get very passionate about some things- and I have gotten into arguments. But only when I feel like I am talking to someone who is closed minded. I like to challenge the status quo, throw up my middle fingers and scream, "FUCK THE SYSTEM." But when I meet other open minded people, I want to explore their minds, or explore the universe with them. I get along very well with other open minded people because there's nothing to argue about- it's all exploration and learning. I've also dabbled in psychedelics and really believe them to be a powerful way to learn more about ourselves and how to become better humans.
- I will always do what it takes. Two years ago, I found myself falling for a girl who lived in Russia. So I went through the trouble to get a passport, Russian visa, and expensive plane tickets so I could fly out to Moscow and see her. My family thought I was insane, but this is the type of person I am. I see an opportunity and I will pursue it with everything I have- because I would rather live with the consequences of failing than the consequences of not trying. If something worked out between you and I, I would do whatever it took to make it work despite the distance.
- We're politically/religiously aligned. And by that I mean- Bernie Sanders and laughing at Mormons. Ok maybe a little deeper than that- I'm quite left of center- and believe in fighting for the poor. I believe in working towards non-violent solutions to problems and using technology to make the world a better place. As far as religion is concerned, I grew up being drilled by a pastor- but finally began thinking for myself about 5 years ago. Since then, I have caught up quite a bit on all kinds of science- genetics, astronomy, biological evolution, etc. I'm endlessly fascinated by all of science and I am thirsty to learn as much as I can about it. Do I believe in a God? Not one that intervenes. My current view is that we may be inside of a simulation- or at the least- a multiverse. No proof to back those ideas up except for logical arguments, so that's why I relegate those to 'beliefs.' But I definitely don't believe LGBT people are sinners on their way to hell. They are humans like everyone else and deserve as much love as everyone else.
- I admire that you pulled yourself out of homelessness. I did the same thing about 7 years ago. I was newly married with a 1 year old son and we got flooded out of the finished basement we were renting. We didn't have enough money to get a new place, so we had to sleep on an air mattress in my then-wife's uncle's basement until we could dig our way out. I was making something like $12/hr as a jr. web designer. It was a really depressing time, and it taught me a lot about what it's like to live in poverty. It gave me a lot of perspective and enlarged my understanding of the world. Now I make $150k and have achieved what most people would call, 'resounding success' but I haven't forgotten what it was like- and plan to do everything in my power to fight homelessness and help those in need. The work that I'm doing in learning how to build VR applications focused on mental health will be a boon to the poor as mental health problems often result in financial problems. So what I'm getting at is- you and I have both been there- and that means we will see the world differently than others do.
- I'm kind of ridiculous. That's endearing right? :) I'm the kind of person to write a long winded, point-by-point letter like this despite the possibility that you will not like it and may reject me (I mean shit, you might not even read it). I know that that could happen- and I'm ok with it. I have to try. If I don't tell you how I feel or what I want to do, how can you know? You're not a mind reader (as far as I can tell). So maybe this letter will give you some insight into the type of person I am as well. When I see an opportunity, and I like what I see, I go at it- balls to the wall. I'm ready to be embarrassed and rejected by you if that's what it takes. At least I gave it my best effort and I refuse to live in regret for not doing everything I could.
- I am all kinds of attracted to you. Physically, mentally, you name it. If there was any doubt up to this point. It's nice to be liked right? Well I like you a lot. In my head, I use the term, 'soul mate material.' I kind of feel like once every five or so years, I run into a girl that I feel like this kind of potential exists. Most of the time, I end up compromising a great deal to date women, but once in awhile I meet someone I feel like I wouldn't need to compromise one bit for. Is it luck or skill or timing that makes it work? Probably some of all of that, so I'm praying to Jesus, Muhammad, the Buddha and Kermit the Frog that I'm right about this.
- Because fuck it?
This has been a long letter, so have a kitten gif :)
The End of My Long-Ass Letter
I guess the gist of where I wanted to go was- we had planned to talk on Friday and it fell through. It got me thinking that maybe I should go out of my way to convey to you how interested I am in you.
I really do want to fly you out to Chicago and spend some time getting to know you face to face. I want to show you my creative space and the projects I'm working on. I'd like to play guitar and sing to you, and maybe play some old school video games with you. Also there's a lot of things in Chicago I'd like to show you.
In short- please give me a shot? :)
-The Guy With The Writing On His Hand